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Wednesday, 07 September 2011

college

I am really enjoying college, i really am. the whole freedom, independence thing has been something i have been waiting for! and you know what, in my situation, i think i'm going to a really good school. lately i feel that high school pushes students opinions on which way they go to college. I honestly congratulate all of the people who worked hard and got into the schools that they deserved to get into, but what i learned is, it's all the same! all you have to do is make it work and do your work! attitude dear child, it's all in the attitude of things.

for once, my doubts haven't really been bothering me, and i suppose i am taking the right steps.
oh gosh, i love butterflies, not the mariposas no. but stomach butterflies.

small break is over! must study for my first world religions quiz! oh yes, i have been getting 100%'s lately, bery gooooood C:

Monday, 01 August 2011

ocean waves and a bridge

the past week i have had the most vivid and realistic dreams. but the most recent dream i had was probably the most symbolic, according to dream symbolism research it says i am entering a new stage in life. A "criticial junction", i've been reflecting on life decisions. i certainly have.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

life is unpredictable

I've been having doubts for my future, and after the news i received today my whole outlook of college seems really different now. Seeing myself last year, i was hoping for plans to go my way, and nothing turned out the way i wanted it. That happens though there goes life. For right now i can't see it, but i just have to trust that it all happened for the better.

Saturday, 16 July 2011

i really can't lie

Today marks the day of the most tangled, largest lie i have ever been through. I feel so fucking guilty about everything, i can't believe it, this is just not me. I believe i'll confront my parents tomorrow about it because i honestly cannot go on like this. I covered your ass, i really did, both of your asses. I was a bit bitter during the whole situation, but i easily cooled down, because like being unable to go through/get over a big lie, i can't go through being mad at someone for so long.

-woke up at 615
-picked up ezra
-drove 45 minutes to my appointment
-ruby's diner
-discussing a spontaneous shopping roadtrip
-ended up not & decided to go to this beach
-ezra's term of 10 minutes turns into 30 minutes
-we were practically halfway to our shopping roadtrip destination
-i admit i was fucking pissed that i allowed this, and i knew he always miscalculates everything, and gahh, fucking..shit.
-got to the beach, i cooled down because it actually made me reminice the beaches in hawaii
-got frustrated again because of where the lie could have exploded, but i kept it cool. writing this is just getting me mad/guilty again. dealt with the freaking traffic!
-got to destination = mall, where my lie was more of the truth
-another betch for a family picnic
-HAD AN ACTION MOVIE CAR MOMENT, omg, i am calm and slick, but oh my, that costed our lives, either way...
-HOME for like 30 minutes
-got picked up by ash, i am burnt out from driving
-lesson not learned, another lie
-went to cousins "bf's" house for dinner
-jumped on the trampoline, cleaned the pool, ended up just leaving feet in the pool and talking
-watched the office
-met yuukis siblings :O : D
-BEST FAMILY MEAL IN FOREVER, omg, don't get me started on the salad
-another family get together at my aunties
-home

what a "hoodrat day" EF, i'm going to spill it to my parents, but i don't want them telling anyone else. i cannot keep this a secret. i respect them too much. man i am such a good daughter. fuuu, i just want to wake up my mom and spill the beans so i can sleep soundly. gahhhhhhhh.

NO LYING, regardless of how big or small. seriously, how can people get through it and give a single fuck afterward. i don't enjoy unnecessary weight on my heavy shoulders already.

Friday, 15 July 2011

reality is upon us

THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A DAMN GOOD SUMMER. like always, but honestly, thinking back to all of the things i have done & been to, it's been incredible! Having a brief online chat with my cousin from europe, i was thinking how long she has been here, and when she goes back i'm going to miss her.

it's always during vacations, like i have said many times before, it's so easy to adjust to something new and fun in your life, but when the time ends it is so hard to go back to reality. when i look back at these memories, it will be nothing but happiness. life should be measured by memories, not by time.

holy ef, i still have another month and a half to go. i'll enjoy it.